Doing up Considerable Sleep

“Away out in Missouri” they live on the primitive system. People sleep as well as eat in companies, and in many of the hotels there are from three to a dozen beds in each chamber. On a cold winter’s night, a weary and foot-worn traveler arrived at one of those caravansaries by the roadside. After stepping into the bar-room and taking the requisite number of “drinks,” he invoked the attention of the accommodating landlady with this interrogatory:

“I say, ma’am, have you got a considerable number of beds in your house?” –
“Yes,” answered she, “I reckon we have.” –
“How many beds have you about this time that aint noways engaged?” –
“Well, we’ve one room upstairs with eleven beds in it.” –
“That’s just right,” said the traveler. “I’ll take that room and engage all the beds, if you please.” –

The landlady, not expecting any more company for the night, and thinking that her guest might wish to be alone, consented that he should occupy the room. But no sooner had the wayfarer retired, than a large party arrived and demanded lodgings for the night. The landlady told them she was very sorry, but all her rooms were engaged; true, there was one room with eleven beds in it, and only one gentleman. –

“We must go there, then – we must have beds there.” –

The party accordingly proceeded to the chamber with the beds and rapped; no answer was returned. They essayed to open the door – it was locked. They shouted aloud, but received no reply. At last driven to desperation, they determined upon bursting open the door. They had no sooner done so than they discovered every bedstead empty, and all the beds piled one upon another in the centre of the room, with the traveler sound asleep on the top. They with some difficulty aroused him, and demanded what in the world he wanted with all those beds. –

“Why look here, strangers,” said he, “I aint had no sleep these eleven nights; so I just hired eleven beds, to get rested all at once and make up what I have lost. I calculate to do up a considerable mess of sleeping; I’ve hired all these beds and paid for ‘em, and hang me if I don’t have eleven nights sleep out on ‘em before morning.”